Dont know what to call this one but….

Over the weekend I watched drama live on comedy central I mean first street industrial area. Baz remember there was that old tired lullaby of a night-out-of-town idea called street jam. I even saw you there.

Ok I didn’t.

So anyway a friend of mine drives over to pick her boyfriend (?!) so they could go home and play big people games. The jam is so big like from here to there.l

He calls to find out the exact spot she is parked and she answers the phone goes in those, oh honey yes honey things lovers are possessed with.

From nowhere a police truck with nine policemen pulls over beside her

Police: YOU. Stop. Park your car

She like a woman scorned: What? Where? Who? When? Why? How? What have I done? I swear on my mother’s life I don’t have a phone. What officer I know my rights I swear you cannot scare me see I don’t have a phone I don’t even own a phone. What have I done? I swear to kill my mother I swear I wasn’t talking on the phone

Me in my head: Oh boy here goes. Who asked you about a phone anyway? (meanwhile she is shoving the phone down my legs)

Police: I said pull over you’re blocking traffic let me come there. How can you talk on the phone in the middle of all this jam? Pull over

Me IMH: Now look what you’ve done you sold yourself.

She shouting on top of her voice: Eaeehh excuse me you officer no no no don’t shout at me I am a journalist I know my rights, don’t shout at me. Where when did you see me with a phone I don’t even own a phone. You officer you think I don’t know my rights? Why is that one shouting at me? Now even that one all of you stop shouting at me I am a journalist. Chanel hide that phone in your skirt.

Me IMH: You think these people are damn fools I mean a woman driving a Rav 4 and you think they don’t know you own a phone? Or two phones at that?
And since when were journalists excused from the long arm of the law? Or are they the only ones who have rights the rest of the country don’t know their rights. She works as at teller by the way.

Officer at the window: Madam do you know what you have just done? Can I read you the law you just broke? Where is your phone?

She: Ssebo I went to driving school (liar) I know that law even I even asked my tutor and he taught me. So why is your friend saying I have a phone I don’t own a phone, you people think I don’t know my rights

Officer: Madam why don’t you just admit you are in the wrong and say sorry. Do you know I can book you in and take you to the cell? Where is your permit?

Me IMH: Here goes again she don’t have one and she is acting such a diva if I were this officer I would slap her for trying to make a fool out of herself and me.

She about to pee her pants: My God, I don’t have a permit I didn’t come with it I stay there in Kololo I just drove here to pick my husband he is there in Silk. He is even called (name drop) and he owns shares in silk. He is even a share holder when he comes you ask him he will tell you.

Me IMH: Ahem I bet by the time these officers go to bed they have heard all sorts of stupid stories from all panicky law breakers. I mean what has shares in silk got to do with my 7a.m to 7a.m job. So when you name drop then what? I mean seriously I know these people get a stupid salary that their bosses spend on just one breakfast. They sleep in houses their bosses dogs would never sleep in and yet when they catch you you want to make them look like the stupidest Ugandans alive. What has Kololo got to do with the situation at hand? The chick sounded like Mwenda at his best.

Officer politely: madam do you know that the IGP is there he could be seeing us. You know you have broken the law do you know I can book you in.

Me to her: Just admit you are in the wrong surely he saw you. Apologise and ask him to let you go

She: Ok officer I was just beeping here is my phone I just beeped him, but those officers are rude even in my job they teach us our rights (Must have missed the class) ok I am sorry but I wasn’t on phone blah blah blah blah

Meanwhile husband with the shares comes down the road…..(And my boss is standing behind me catch you later)

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