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Archive for February, 2009

I know email forwards are what you crap everyday. You ‘urgh’ on them like its your best hobby before you send them straight to where your other spasm is, in the waste bin. But some are so funny they put the day back into your good. However you wanna say it humour me.

But iI read this with Erique in mind. (Boy is he gonna kick my ass) I couldnt stop laughing. I wonder who comes up with this stuff, they must waste alot of their boss’ resources like me and the other guy who lives on Facaebook these days. No wonder the credit crunch is crunching. But anyway here goes. Dedicated to those who havent recieved this memo in your inbox.

For all those men who say ” Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free” Here’s an update for you:

Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realized that it is not worthy to keep home an entire pig , just to get a few grams of sausage…..

1. Men are like. ……..Laxatives. They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like. …… Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like …….Weather. Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like …… Blenders You need One, but you’re not quite sure why.

5. Men are like …… Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like …… Commercials. You can’t believe a word they say.

7. Men are like …….Department Stores. Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

8. Men are like ……. Government Bonds?. They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like …… Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like ……Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like ……..Snowstorms. You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like …….. Lava Lamps .. Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like ………Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Now send this to all the remarkable women you know, as well as to any understanding good-natured men, fun kind guys you might be lucky enough to know !!!!!!!!!!

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Igiss, son (yeah we speak the same language even. Even we…) you should learn some of these tricks of the trade. Here is a forward I thought I should share with you. Quit with the Mr Nice guy, we girls want a bad ass guy like this. Yup Mr Bigg is a BAD ASS. Thats how I am so hooked onto him like a tick. Now take down this advise son and carry it with you where you go dipping your lolipop

Never hurt a man coz you’ll end up being hurt

A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a “Dear John” letter
from his girlfriend back home.

It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us
is just to great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since
you’ve been gone, and it’s not fair to either of us. I’m sorry. Please
return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love, Becky

The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any
snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends,
aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky,
Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had
collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that
envelope….along with this note:

Dear Becky,
I’m so sorry, but I can’t quite remember who you are. Please take
your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.

Take Care, Ricky

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What THE….

…..F)(&*&*(%*^ is this bullshit?

Your wife’s annoying habits

Ashraf Simwogerere, actor, writer and producer
Going somewhere without informing me or getting my permission is a very nagging thing because she expects me to tell her every detail of my whereabouts. Not minding and caring about my welfare like leaving me to iron my own clothes or serve myself breakfast or not informing me about the whereabouts of my socks, handkerchiefs and so on. You see men are like babies who need attention and if you ignore such small things whether consciously or unconsciously, they end up heaping and sooner or later, they erupt into problems.

What kind of man is this woman married to? I am a senga girl but surely I am not going to take such talk.

I must say where I am going and not question your whereabouts? A grown ass man dont know where to find his underwear? This is beyond Stupid.

But this is annoying and if you are the melodramatic type that does this stuff, quit with the shit stop embarassing us please.

A 37-year-old lawyer based in Kampala (The guy even fears to give his name.)
Ha ha that is a hard one and please don’t mention my name in this or else my wife will strangle me over it. They are quite a number. However, I will base on her lack of respect for me at times. The way she addresses me even in public is a little too familiar and embarrasses me as well. I hate the way she walks into my chambers and everybody freezes because she is around feeling bossy bossy, ordering my secretaries around for coffee, water, printing something, inquiring why my table is messed up and so on.

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