Archive for May, 2008

Bimbo on my yahoo

How bad can they get, these bimbos I mean. Really how can this Bimbo let words like this escape her mouth?

She told reporters: “I’m not happy about the way the Chinese are treating the Tibetans because I don’t think anyone should be unkind to anyone else.

“I’ve been concerned about how we should deal with the Olympics, because they are not being nice to the Dalai Lama, who is a good friend of mine.

“And then all this earthquake and all this stuff happened, and I thought, is that karma – when you’re not nice, that the bad things happen to you?”

Granted I dont like my supervisor I think she is a bimbo too just wasting our time, but hey I cant go running to the press that I am happy the marriage she prays for is not coming.

When Kony was down with Diarrhoea I didnt laugh. No. I didnt write a letter to the editor, I just prayed that he get well soon or atleast his right hand which would sign the peace aggreement. But thanks to all of you who laughed, the sh****t face has backed out.

I wont laugh when president Museveni is finally off the throne whichever way he goes, that is life. There are a million and one things that make us mad but we just never say then. For this bimbo to claim that all those 68,000 people deserved to die is just ridiculous.


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Wake up ladies

I was shaken into reality and from that day onwards I realised I am as important as the next man that walks into my life. Dont get me wrong I am the not so feminist blogger who is living happier after taking this advise into consideration. They say the best sengas are men and well who am I to say no. Take a look

He:Ono Nalumansi?
He: Nalumansi? aka Na Romance
Me: That name could fit me well right now
Me: I mean No romance
He: Ate kiki?
Me: I hvae tried to love and be loved back naye biganye
Me: I have thrown in the towel on matters of love and men
He: Kati today, open up your ears, eyes, heart, legs, and everything that can hear and listen
Me: Right now I am seated in office crying my eyes out but it seems not to help
Me: I am sorry for always running to you and whining on but seems i never have anyone else to do with
Me: This is the last time you are hearing me do thsi conversation with you becasue you must be getting tired of it and me too
He: In this world, there are three or four most important things in life. You can be least assured that you will be born, heart broken, fall ill and die. Those are guaranteed. However the way we handle them determines how we can live with them.
He: Some of the attributes of managing such adverse situations, is to equip yourself with priorities in life. To know when to go forward and when not to, to assess a situation and analyze the effect of either pain of joy on your health thus managing expectations which may help you not fall sick
He: One thing God gave us is the talent to analyze what is good and bad for us. The talent to know when to do what or when not to, the talent to assess a situation to be able to decide on whether we should go ahead and not, to know whether we are being used or not, when to keep our knickers on or not and when to pump our breaks. Unfortutnately we never use those talents
He: You are young, ambitious, with potential to succeed. At your age you have transversed where many wouldnt have. You are about to finish your college degree, you have a job, you have a talent and a career path already enginereed. With focus sky is the limit for you. You have what some Ugandans, would kill for some with no hope at all yet they even graduated years ago. The question is what are your priorities?
He: Is is peer pressure? Is it bcz X is dating Y? Can that really obscure your success, luck and blessing. Wouldnt you see that you have way more than most would have. Love can never go or ran away. Think about it even Binaisa can still marry, but what you have achieved cannot be done at a later age. Apprecation of our achievement, is pleasing to God. Shows we are happy with what He has given us
He: Well love, loving, being loved is a natural desire, and no one can fault you on the way you feel. But are you going to let your feeling lead the way, do your thinking? guide you? or you are going to use the talent of intellegence God gave you?
He: I know for sure that bcz you have those feelings, or peer pressure you do irrational things. Someone smiles and you are all jellie. Bcz you are so focused on being in love or being loved you loose your rationalit y of realizing that the person wants your knickers. You get lead on and you believe in the hype within and once these people get what they want they are off their bike.
He: Take your time, get your career focused, achieve your life time goals, get them cemented and have finite objective. Love WILL COME, I can guarante you that. You are pretty, young, have a career and you are so intelligent. Let men see that, let them pursue you for your qualities not your legs. Assess who wants such qualities not not wants that boodie. Successful women are so powerful, look at Specioza, Anne Mugisha, Winnie Byanyima. You call the shots, you are in control not being controlled. Have love and let real love look for you other than the other way around. Whenever you show that you want something more than that thing wanting you then the laws of nature come in play – As they say murphys law will definately come in play and that person you want so bad will ran.
He: You can do it. You certainly can. I am a man and as a man I can tell you, we want your panties more than we want anything out of you. It is the way the woman conducts herself that garners that respect for her. Is LOVE going to determine your future? Hell NO. It comes and goes, yet your success is maintained for ever. Dont go chasing waterfalls, stick to the rivers they are more stable and they will stay the course. TRUST ME, love will come, its nature, its given and its a guarantee. Your career and college education are not natural and not given and are not guarantees. You will enjoy that LOVE you are so much in need of better when you finish your career objectives, and when it happens at the right time. Please Please Please listen to me. I know there is a natural desire but you
He: can fight it
He: If anything happens let it happen at the right time. You will know. Thats why God gave you the talent of knowing what is wrong and what is right. You can assess, analyze, review the situation and know what is good for you. It will happen, It will happen, It will happen. The right time will come. Let nature take its course and do not force the situation or else you will be always hurt and crying…thats my two cents
Me: Thank you so much
He: Anytime
Me: This I am going to print out and hang on my wall
He: The biggest probem we have, is we always take for granted our blessings and forget those who cry and will die for them. Think about this, there are those women who change men like shoes, everyone goes there…I think there was one Mayi..I heard of over there. WHere is she now? No where…She dissapeared like Ezra. WHy she had nothing of substance to offer apart from her legs. As we grow, our looks grow with us and unfortunately they go, but will your knowledge or career ever go away? Hell NO.
Me: better I think I should frame this and head it “MY WAKE UP CALL”
Me: What would i do with out you
He: Dont get me wrong, love is an ingredient of life. Loniliness is a motha and it bites like a motha. However we should be careful on how we respond. We can do that rationally. We can use that Talent to know what we can do. Not to go head over heels into something and regret the day we were born afterwards.
He: While may campus girls are planning on how much punani they can give out to be able to get a car, a TV, a trip abroad. You are planing on achieving you career and you will not need any Man to use you to get your car, go abroad, build your house. Yours will be yours, and you will not be at the mercy of some guy, who you may not love anymore but cannot run bcz you owe him
He: Believe in you. We certainly do believe in you. You are pretty, intelligent and blessed. Use those qualities for your self confidence. Let that confidence lead your way. Walk with a swagger. Confidence breeds success in everything. Be confident you can achieve anything you put your mind/focus on rationally. Don’t be desperate, just confident. Confident people are like everywhere. Desperate people are ran away from.
Me: I just stopped crying and said a prayer to thank God for you are one in a million. I am trully blessed
He: Thats good, and always remember that you are trully blessed when things are not that great. I am not saying you should be stuck up but confidence helps when you show someone that I am better than you and I cant compesate my life/achievements with such levels of life. It has worked for me on many occassions.
Me: Well i hope and pray that is phase in life is just a passing crowd
Me: My lowest and stupidest moment, thing, idea, thot or belief is lack of confidence in whatever I do and belif that there is a someone out there better I can never beat.
Me: Now that push has come shove, I am brightly wake
Me: The sun just shine again on me
He: Confidence has made people great, when they dont even have the ability. Who would have though Sebagala can be a mayor..not a good role model but a perfect example on what confidence can do. Self belief breeds that confidence. You have all the qualities one can wish for. You are not using others as a yard stick to compare yourself – you have your own goals so work on achieving them. Others can be used for comparison only when you are aiming at beating them or exhaling further than them not when you wish you were like them. Once you start believing in yourself, show that swagger you will see what happens. I guarantee you the outcome will be one to savour

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Forever Ugandan,

If you badly want Ugandans to do something, put it against the law. They will do it to prove a point. The obvious things are never challenging so they are always looking for some rule to break or experiment with.

Police Notice No parking
These zones are the hottest parking spots. Some argue that the No Parking signs are designed by people who think they own the city.
Every turn you make, especially on Wilson road, there is a car jacked or one being towed for poor parking.
Some witty characters scratch NO off the No Parking signs living PARKING.
Shell Total and Gapco on Ben Kiwanuka Street instructions stating that “Police warning. Off loading passengers at the petrol stations is prohibited”
But the warning is like an invite to taxi drivers to empty their taxis at the petrol stations. This always irritates passengers living them wondering if the drive is blind.

No smoking
Kahinda Otafire then Minister of Water Lands and Environment placed a ban on smoking in public places.
Otafire’s warning notwithstanding, it is rare if not impossible to find a no smoking zone without a smoker. Where the signposts are in big bold letters followed with a health warning “Smoking is bad for your health”, smokers line the place and puff at the sign.

Don’t urinate here fine 50,000
All the places that have this warning have a stench of urine hovering in the vicinity. A male friend once joked that God created the world and told them to go and irrigate it.
“If we were not going it by the road side the world would be a desert,” he commented.
During one of his morning shows at CBS radio, Presenter Abby Mukiibi commented that the worst comes to the worst when young children stare at the guys asking what he is doing.
“They scare the hearts out of our children,”
The witty characters again scratch the DON’T living the URINATE HERE sign. And then knock themselves out.

Keep Kampala Clean
So pathetic this phrase. This goes in line with the Don’t dump here signs. Green KCC containers with the humble request Keep Kampala clean squat in filthy flooded garbage alive with flies and a nauseating stench.
Talk of keeping Kampala clean. Don’t keep Kampala dirty sounds more like it.

Warm beer lousy food
This is what welcomes a reveller to Fat boyz Pub at Kisementi. But nonetheless, the place is always crowded with people despite the bar’s revelation that they will be served with warm beer and lousy food.
“I got it from Mexico. That is like playing on people’s psyche. They come to find out for themselves if it is true and don’t leave,” Darren Dooley the owner told Weekly Observer.

One way/No turn/no way through
There is a road sign on Makerere Hill road in Wandegeya that prohibits cars coming from town to turn into Junjju road. The same is with cars joining Makerere hill road towards Makerere Nakulabye from Junjju road. Police always have a field day teaching motorists to read the sign right but in vain. At Parliamentary Avenue is a sign that bars motorists joining from Jinja road.

Zebra crossing

You would think they were meant to alert pedestrians to give way to the motorists. Say the zebra crossing at Post office building. Think twice before expecting a car to give you way or else you will find yourself legs up in Mulago causality ward.

Beer not sold to under 18

Puleaze! Whoever coined this one should shoot themselves. School going under eighteens are definitely served liquor like any grown up.
Just go to holiday makers bashes and see the number of young boys and girls carrying beer with the words Strictly not for sale to under 18 inscribed on the bottle. Then they walk away in a drunken spell forgetting they escaped from home or school

Strictly 18 years and above
I always see school girls in Ange Mystique members club walking with a swagger like they own the club. And remember Ange Noir is restricted to under 18. Next thing you see her ogling a man fit to be her grandfather then you understand why she is there.
Youngsters love joints that bar them off their premises. They will do all things possible to find their way inside and later go and show off to their friends.
So if you want teenagers to stay away from your joint, make it open to them.

Don’t drink and drive
Huh! Probably the most abused. Even with the breathalysers in town today, you won’t miss a car making a bee line on Kampala’s roads.
If you are got, you either pay kitu kidogo or speed away for dear life.
There is a popular rich girl with a personalised car who you will see zooming around town, music loud, beer in one hand and a smoke in the other.
Order with Cash
“Why should I pay for what I haven’t eaten? Do you think I can relocate to Kenya because of this little money?” people will often ask a waiter in a restaurant or bar that requires one to pay before being served.
“I either get served or leave,” they continue before the waiter goes back to collect there order not wanting to risk loosing a customer.

Total silence
Reads the warning at CBS radio stations at Bulange. But the comedians who do the morning shows stand below the said warning making fun and noise like it reads “make some noise”.
This prompts the station managers to shush them sometimes in vain.

Switch off your phones please
Usually in the banks and petrol stations. Someone will walk into the bank talking on phone get to the counter and walk out still using the phone the Switch off your phones signs in the bank notwithstanding. And all this time some phones have gone off and the owners answered them. Maybe the banks should resort to installing phone jammers.

No shoes in the mosque
Shoes are considered unclean because the go to dirty places like toilets. That is why they are not allowed in the mosque.
But unfortunately they line the ventilation, windows and sides of the mosques even with the request at the entrance to leave them aside.
People reason that their shoes will be stolen if left outside. Whatever the hell happened to saying their prayers in an unclean environment?

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