Archive for June, 2009

Chanel to the class: Neeeeeews news

Bloggers: Yes prease madamu

Chanel: My name is Chanel and others, When I was walking in Wandegeya minding my stearing I met Cheri Chantal Gipir Labong the great.

Bloggers: Where where where? Eh eh kyoka you ka galo kale nga you are a liar. Also you tello us the tulusi.
Even you mean this Chantal who bees dumping her blog?

Chanel: Yeah brothers and sisters the one and only. She is brown nga etungulu. If you dont believe me, take a look this is me besides Gipir Labong.

Badanga dwarffing me

Badanga dwarffing me

No not high heels she was wearing them flat shoes even.
Her to me ” Eh kale you used to say that Antipop is short naye nga nawe you are short”

Yeah well darling wait when you meet her.

But that girl, she is lying she hasnt been in those of outside countries. Ask me why? Ask me? Ask me?

She doesnt look like a summer, no actually she does because she was wearing cool gladiator sandals. But she wasnt acting like a summer. I was waiting for lines like

“Back at home, you see back at home in D.C” But wapi, she was talking about how she is coming for BHH on foot (Solomon this is where you dont miss the mother of all BHH)

Then you know how the summers come here pulling off accents and acting like they are ATMs as if to kiss their asses, this Chantal, Nada. Omwana wafe wawano.

Now prease all of you I will be handing out the Chocolas at BHH. If you dont make a single straight line I wont give you Cheri’s goodies.


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Its murder indeed

Yes abortion is murder, if you know the story ladies get on the pill injection, norplant, coil, female condom, ask him to wear one. If you are done having kids get the tubal ligation.

Today I am here for the fellows though, the guys, gents, niggas, brothers, the men.

Bloggers would you ever consider getting castrated? I mean having a vasectomy.

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A woman walked the Clinic with a six month old in hand.

Soon as she stepped inside a little toddler probably clocking 2 years follows grabbing on his shorts to keep them in place.

And another follows with a potbell leading the way, pulling back mucas that has gathered on his mouth.

And yet a much older follows and another and another till all the nine have disappeared inside the clinic.

“Those are her nine children, I think she has come for a contraceptive method. But she looks pregnant” the health worker observes.

Why she comes with all the children you ask?

On top of the fact that the clinic provides nutrition supplements to malnourished children, this way they attract their mothers that while they bring their children for the healthy porriadge, they are taught how to plan their families.

Now the women in turn use the excuse for taking children for immunisation and nutrition to get onto any contraceptive method their husbands dont approve. In fact it calls for a beating if he finds out. So the Injectaplan is prefered because its private he wont suspect a thing.

And here she is with all nine children that way her husband would not suspect that she is trying to stop having children. He wants all of them out. He doesnt have a job by the way but I hear its an ego thing.

The men who shelter the idea or agree to lessons on family planning and escort their wives for a method or to the hospital to deliver ask that they be given tea, soda, food, entertainment, transport even an allowance.

WHY you ask again? You are taking up their valuable time they would otherwise be using at the newspaper vendor to discuss Migingo or play cards.

So woman here has come for the Injection.

“Mama you are three months pregnant” the health worker tells her. Her face is in shock she doesnt understand how that could be because she is breastfeeding. Hell no there is no way in hell she is going to add a tenth to the burden she has now.

“Give me the injection anyway” she says in Luo.

When the health worker explains that its impossible she asks that an abortion be done.


The health worker doesnt know what explanation to give this time.

Neither do I know what you tell such a woman.

Do you know?

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You mean everyone must say “Its my birthday today? Kale its my birthday today. And if you must know the magic number is 26.
You can find me at Spectrum with all your presents.
And Cheri will be a year older soon

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One of the reasons why abortion is still going on in huge numbers by unskilled dangerous persons is because of this kind of thing “Oh my God how could you kill a life? You are a murderer. It doesn’t matter your reasons you are still a murderer. Gasiya tuu”
No wonder you sit there and pretend non of the people you know has or will ever induce an abortion.

It is why girls will just go in hiding, induce abortions at the witch doctors and end up six feet under. How about we look at why they abort?

Here is a scenario where we should stop being naïve, I mean parents should stop being Naïve and accept that their school and campus kids are having sex. A lot. And most of the time at that stage its un protected.

Now when parents and religious leaders are told to talk to young girls and boys about safe sex contraceptives, what is their reply? My kids are still young I don’t discuss those things with them.

Now picture a girl finds herself pregnant, she knows at home her parents will
a) kill her
b) send her packing to the responsible father
c) turn her into some short of example to the rest for a ruined future
d) stop paying for her school fees.
Or the 1% of sensible boys created by God who take responsibility and accept that it is indeed him who planted the seed. But he knows at home they will send him packing or pack up his things for him and ship him to an uncle to run away from the girl.

Now either of these two will talk to a few people in a harsh harsh torn and the solution, Abortion. Lets hear all those who are calling her a killer without looking at all the other responsible persons.

Like I said at Princesses one doctor confessed he has done abortions on 20 nuns, 9 IUCD implants (coils) etc etc. They too will pour scorn on a teenage/ school girl/ campus girl/ naïve girl/ girl who finds this the best solution to her future/ girl who fears ridicule from society when she gives birth out of wedlock.

Before the “How could you?” what are you doing to help those who are stuck in this situation. Shouldn’t we be discussing stopping unintended/unwanted pregnancies before we pour scorn on those who do abortions? Contraceptives not family planning to the young girls, how do you tell them family planning when they have no families to plan?

And by the way abortions are going up in the married bracket. Next time I will talk about one such woman.

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